A Vision of the Future
by G. Arthur Brown
Tuesday I got a vision of the future. You can’t control what it is you see when something like that happens. Keep that in mind. The images came to me quickly, so I’ll try to relate them in some kind of sensible order.
i. General Overview of the Future
In the future things will be cleaner, movies will be better and small children won’t need to be afraid of anything at all. Restroom technology will be simply astounding. A really amazing remake of Robin Hood will come out. Kids will have a horny armor-like shell.
I. The Restrooms
In the future you won’t have to worry about catching a disease in a public toilet. For one thing, commodes will be eliminated and everyone will use those eastern-style porcelain holes in the floor. In the future everyone will have been bred to be mostly Asian and the lack of a seat won’t be a problem for anyone. This will fix the problem of germ transmission via contact. Butts will have fewer pimples. But that will not be all.
In the future everyone will take special pills. These pills will be colloquially known as ‘your daily chalk.’ This will cause a person’s feces to come out in small roundish units roughly the size of golf balls, with a smooth, white shell. This will prevent the feces from dirtying the posterior of the defector and also will limit the possible transmission of feces-born pathogens. It will not be hard to squeeze out these ‘eggs.’( Read more... )